The Sentient Sentinel

What does it mean to be selfish? It means that you focus on yourself and no one else. Society teaches us that being selfish is immoral and acts of selflessness are becoming more and more trendy. There are thousands, if not millions, of causes sponsored by giving individuals. We are taught that the more we give and the less we take the better people we are. however, just like anything else, moderation is the key.

There are, generally speaking, three types of givers. Those who genuinely give to others because they want to (thus the selfless becomes selfish), those who feel obligated to "do the right thing," and those who unhealthily give and give and give. other than the former, the reason for these unselfish selflessness is due to an ingrained, subconscious impression instilled by an environment of hypocritical bureaucrats.

Those who feel obligated and are obligated really are the same. And if anyone voices this obligations, he/she are fake, but people aren't born fake, quite the contrary, the "smarter" man feels he becomes the more he tries to remove himself from nature. the problem with this train of thought is that man is natural and being selfish comes naturally. Not only do we have a connection with ourselves that we have with no one else, but selfishness (once again, in moderation) is healthy.

I call this form of "selflessness" that we are taught processed selflessness. Processed selflessness is man's attempt at bettering itself through the man made or artificial, but, in fact, is no healthier than processed foods, or artificial sweeteners. Sugar, fats, and nature are not only healthy in excess, but crucial to our very existence. But it's no surprise that man neglects it's emotional needs just as much as their physical. We naturally need to cater to our own needs and some needs are occasionally wants. If a person never gets what he wants, then he begins to neglect himself mentally.

These who understand that it is alright to cater to their own needs before those of another tend to live much happier lives. This doesn't mean to never help anybody nor never compromise. It means that a person has less to give out when they don't bring in first. If people learned to be selfish when needed and to love themselves, then they would be very wise indeed. Through dedicating time and care to anything, a person promotes growth. The more we grow, the stronger we become and the stronger we become the stronger we can help others to become. I have things I do that involve only me. These things do not involve my wife or my son nor my parents or friends. I take time to myself so that I can emotionally be more supportive to those that mean the world to me. It doesn't have to be anything fantastic either. Take some alone time to meditate, go for a walk, work out, read a book, or any other numbers hobbies out there. You could even try something you've never done before and who cares if you succeed at it or not, because you're not doing it for anyone else.

After filling these needs, you will feel energized and then, can dedicate time to others' needs. Help others because you want to! Turning a selfless act into a selfish one becomes so much more fulfilling for all parties involved. You are a wonderful human being who deserves to, at the very least, love yourself. When you learn to love yourself then you learn to be able to truly other others, and not before. Learn to understand your needs (communication), respect your desires, and trust in yourself.

"I often joke, half sincerely and half seriously, saying that if we wish to be truly selfish then we should be wisely selfish rather than foolishly selfish."
- Dalai Lama XIV