Fear is a funny thing. We aren't actually born with it, but are taught to fear through experience and environment. Many wisemen have said "there is nothing to fear but fear itself," however, anyone without fear is sheltered, lying, or on a whole other plane of existence.
Why do we have fear? Well, as I mentioned earlier, we are taught to. From birth, we are constantly learning. Through observation a child sees individuals in it's life react to many different situations every day. These situations are amplified through experience; such as, a child sees his parents avoid danger (danger being the cause whose effect is harm) and the idea is really driven home the first time the child bumps it's head, smashes his/her fingers in a drawer, or is bit by a bug.
Some fear is good, atleast at a basic level. Fear motivates us to succeed. It also allows us to avoid bodily (and sometimes emotional) harm. And likewise, if only some fear is good, then there is some that is bad. Believe it or not, fear is a major governing factor in every controversial debate. That is why it's considered controversial. Politics, religion, and discrimination all revolve around the idea of fear. But the only way to overcome fear is by standing up to it. Does this make you unaffraid? no, courage and fear are not exclusive, but in time, the more one dances in and out of fear, the less that individual has to fear.
Discrimination: the very essence of which is fear. People judge constantly. If you're old enough to work, then odds are you've heard many people discuss first impressions. It's inevitable. I don't like him because he's dressed in black, I don't like her because she has big teeth, I don't trust him because his skin is bronze, black, white, yellow...
Most of these ideas can be broken down into much simpler thought processes. If he's different, then he's not like me, and if he's not like me, then he may harm me. I'm affraid that she is more attractive than me, or more intelligent or better suitied for whatever, and if she's better off than me then she may get something I don't, perhaps at cost to me.
Or, sometimes, the roles are even reversed. He's a man and men only want one thing, trust me, I am one. I can't stand hanging out with other women, I just don't get them. I got into trouble as a teen, so I know that group is up to no good.
These judgements are an every day part of life. We hold each other back because of fear. I'm white, so that black man is going to think I owe him something. I'm black, so that white man is going to think he's better than me. I'm hispanic, so nobody can be trusted that doesn't speak spanish. I just don't trust those hispanics, you never know what they're saying. So on and so forth.
Even subcultures defined by race discriminate against themselves. I'm too Dutch to spend that much. Sorry I broke your TV, what do you expect, I am Polish. Or an Asian expecting all other Asians to be "more intelligent." Or perhaps, a white person expecting other "white" people to dress or act a particular way, which goes the same for all races. Black people living in ghettoes, not just because they're poor, because they're taught by rappers, crime lords, and religious fanatics to steal, harm and segregate, not just others, but their very own neighbors. Fear is supposed to prevent me, a white author, from expressing these things. Fear causes negligence and negligence offers a breeding ground for more fear.
Religions is man's attempt at understanding his reason for existing. Through extravagent imaginations, Gods, deities and supernatural beings are created to instill fear into the hearts of men. Fear that motivates individuals to do the "right" thing or be loyal to the "right" path. Fear is an instrument of control and control allows one to govern as he/she sees fit. Governments use this exact same tactic. Instead of the fear of hell it's the fear of prison. Instead of demons, it's terrorists. And instead of gods, there are presidents.
The point I'm making is that we all have our faults and we have all been judged. I have a broken record in my head that regurgitates my rules for any relationship, and it's quite simple. There are only three rules to maintaining a healthy relationship with anyone.
1. Respect
2. Communication
3. Trust
Respect should be given to anyone and everyone, regardless. Communication is key to growing a healthy bond. Through respect and communication, trust is developed. If we can learn to be more aware of our relationships, then things like discrimination would no longer be a problem, and fear would have no where to grow.
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