“Compassion, forgiveness, these are the real, ultimate sources of power for peace and success in life.”
Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama
   I have been told repeatedly throughout my life that I "cannot save the world." What does that mean exactly? Well, it means that no matter how much I give and no matter how many I give to, there will always be those in need. This is because humanity is a conglomerate of takers and not givers. Call it socialism if you must, I don't care, the fact is that we all could use a little more compassion. If being a socialist is best for humanity and you're all too brainwashed by the rich (the only people that socialism wouldn't benefit) to see it, then shame on you. I digress.
   We have all turned away a reaching hand... maybe you didn't want to live without a luxury, maybe you were just plain selfish, or maybe you legitimately had nothing to give (which is rarely ever the case). How many homeless people have you passed on the street that a dollar could have helped? Sure one dollar could buy one item off of a value menu, but what if twenty people gave one dollar? We abuse money on a daily basis, how many one dollars do you blow on random things? A pop in the pop machine (usually more than a dollar)... what if you "toughed" it by drinking water for a day. Would being healthy "hurt" you? What about skipping a candy bar, movie rental, fast-food meal or alcoholic beverage? We all enjoy those things, but if giving up one of those things a week allowed you to give even $5 and everyone else did the same, would that not benefit humanity?
   We all have blood on our hands. None of us are perfect, far from it. I have done my share of ill-deeds just as you have. Calling a girl a name in fifth grade, ignoring an annoying person in high school, exchanging harmful words with a now ex. We've all spilled the hypothetical blood of another... if we haven't literally. What if that girl in fifth grade grows up to self-loath, putting herself in hurtful situations due to lack of confidence? What if she is killed in an abusive relationship? What if the annoying kid in high school overdoses on some hallucinogens and gives himself a shotgun face-lift in the front seat of his car? What if that lover goes out to drink to get over you and crashes their car? These examples are not that far off... each of us effects people more than we know (we cannot help but be self-centered, I'm the only person I really know, and I'm stuck with myself from birth to end). Should we feel responsible? The answer is... yes. We all are responsible for each other. I'm all for population control, but lets control breeding and prevent harm. Be proactive!
   Don't regret the past. There is nothing you can do about it now. Forgive yourself, forgive others, and learn from the experience. Think about all of those ghosts you've hurt. Let them each come to the surface of your mind, review them, study them. How does it make you feel, to know that you have harmed that person? That feeling is compassion (well, hopefully it is). If nothing else, have compassion for yourself, and prevent any further occasion when you will feel like this. I know it's not realistic, but being a good person is not whether you do good things or not. Being a good person means you know when you have done wrong and you strive to correct those mistakes. Succeed or not, it's the attempt that counts.
   If we do not take care of each other, no one else will. We are all humans, we all have that in common. We are fellow Earthlings... so lets grow together. The only thing holding us back is us. Man has no natural predator other than himself. I do my best to give to you what I my talents allow, please appreciate my gift and lend what strength you have to another. Thank you.

I have been a Pagan for my entire adult life. I could mimic hundreds of others and say "I was always Pagan, I just didn't know there was a name for it." but that would be a flat out lie. I was a devout Lutheran once. In fact, if my parents hadn't converted to Presbyterian when I was a teenager, I might still be a devout Lutheran. Don't get me wrong, I have never liked their God. Jesus was okay, but the big guy. Woah. That is one sadistic, omnipotent entity. Why anyone would declare undying love to someone like that, even without any other options, I couldn't imagine. But I loved my church. I loved my minister and Sunday school, my confirmation classes and I carried out my acolyte duties with passion. I loved the ritual and the liturgy. (Not to say I loved Sunday mornings, but once I got there I was usually transfixed.)I had my own book of liturgy and I regularly had weddings and funerals for fish and gerbils. I knew all of the liturgy and most of the songs by heart. Yes. I could've been a Lutheran minister if only we hadn't switched to that other church and messed everything up! It was huge and beautiful and I didn't know anyone there. I never even learned the pastor's name. Just as well because there was a new one every few months. Without the ritual I loved, there was nothing to hold me. I started making up my own rituals based on things I read in books (I have always been a history and historical fiction buff) and the next thing I knew I was Pagan. All it took was the revelation that these Gods were just as real as that God and that I could still worship them. It was still some years before I noticed that other people worshipped them too, of course.

I don't miss the Lutheran church. In honesty I'm still a member. I still use their financial services but I haven't visited in years and of course we have nothing in common anymore. I don't miss the angry God and confessing my sins. I enjoy now a closeness and personal relationship with my Gods that I never had with that other guy. I don't miss the guilt and the feelings of inadequacy or the shame of desire- mostly the desire to experiment. Sometimes with sex, but also with the occult, for I never could understand as a Christian why I had to keep my study of alchemy and herbal healing secret and why my Christian boyfriend was certain I was going to drag him to hell when I made him a potion for his pneumonia.

But there are some things I do miss:

I miss the familiarity of rituals. I miss the idea that I can go to a gathering and take part in a ritual with which I am wholly familiar and yet still find it meaningful. As a neo-Hellenic polytheist, I have never really been able to get into the whole quarter calling thing, besides, people are always trying to spice them up in new and unique ways. The ADF liturgy is more comfortable for me but ADF groves are few and far between. I thought of trying to form one myself but there's just not a lot of local interest and besides, I'm tired of leading the rituals all the time. I want someone else to start one, so I can join. Sometimes I feel like the more stuff I do for other people, the more I'm losing my own religion for the sake of theirs. Which leads me to the other thing I miss.

The ability to just sit back and get fed once in awhile. Okay, yes, it's true that one of the great things about Pagan religions is that it's experiential and personal and that each person is encouraged to think for him or herself instead of allowing oneself to be spoon fed. But you know what, just once in awhile I want to hear a Pagan sermon. I want some charismatic Pagan to get up on a pulpit and lead the group- or just me, screw the group, in some revelation that doesn't require any work on my part. I'm tired and I'm getting old. I imagine a Pagan sermon will be more like a guided journey and that is awesome. I would like that. Yes, it's nice to get together and spend some time doing hands-on stuff between opening and closings, but too often this involves magic and more often than not involves some scattered general worship of some God-or-Goddess-of-many-names that isn't mine (or having one or more of mine be listed as one of the many names which always makes me wonder if that's offensive or not), leaving me feeling just as uncomfortable and squirmy as I would in a Christian church. I think maybe those folks who want to do all-path rituals would be better off leading some sort of ecstatic experience or "sermon" of personal revelation than trying to lump everyones' Gods into their offertory anyway. After all, some of us are hard polytheists. And some of us are exhausted from making our own personal revelations and might find having one handed to us occasionally refreshing.

But mostly, I miss leadership. I miss being led, just a little. Yes, I know that my path is my own and I value that but sometimes I'm tired and I'd like to put down the proverbial cross for a minute. I'd like someone to ask questions of and to unload on. Sometimes, yes, I want to confess my sins (though certainly they'll be different sins than they would've been 20 years ago). Sometimes I need someone else to lean on. Someone who isn't a friend (or lover) but understands my concerns from a spiritual point of view. There is nothing like that for me. I don't belong to a Coven or a Grove, though I imagine members of those would turn to their High Priestess or Arch Druid. But who does the High Priestess lean on?

When I have a problem with someone else in the community, who can we turn to for unbiased mediation. Who is there that we can both trust not to gossip about us or take sides? When I have need of a marriage ceremonial, burial or naming - something I can't do myself I'm looking on Witchvox or Motor City Pagans listings- how do I know any of these people are competent. How do I know what their style is like? I have no experience with most of these people and the experience I have with most of them is quite limited. Can my husband and I go to them for marriage counseling after the wedding, grief counseling after the funeral?

I can't help it. I guess I'm a traditionalist. My girlfriend had a big Catholic wedding on the anniversary of her grandparents big Catholic wedding. Not because she's a believer but because it's tradition. I remember thinking it was weird. But you know, until my generation my whole family was married, buried and baptized in the same Lutheran church since they got off the boat in the mid 1800s. There was never any question for them who to call when someone got engaged, was born or died or who to go to when the stress of the world was weighing them down or they had a conflict with a family member or neighbor. We Pagans do not have that, and it is something that I bemoan in my most stressed out periods which invariably occur about this time of year.

I have been thinking very deeply about why I tend to lose it late August every year. I think a big part of it has to do with the fact that my children have been trashing my house and eating vast quantities of food since the middle of June and another big portion can be allotted to my day job, as my contract is up for renewal in August but I never get final notice about that until November. But another big chunk of blame for my annual August angst is directly related to being Pagan. We are just coming down off of a hectic festival season. Now I don't do festivals. I have kids home from school, two jobs and a husband in the same predicament. To take that much time off, much less travel and spend the money that festivals cost isn't even something we consider. But our friends go. So we have a whole summer of missing our friends. A whole stressful 3-5 months of having nobody to vent to because they're all gone somewhere being enlightened in primitive camping. Of course we're insanly jealous but that's not the source of our stress. Everyone knows that the key to managing stress is having someone else to bitch to about it and my husband and I can only bitch to each other so much before we have to start looking for marital counseling and since we have no clergy and we can't afford a therapist (not that, I am coming to suspect, a good therapist exists in Michigan the land that mental health forgot) that's not in our cards. We also have NO TIME in the summer. Despite the fact that we have packaged the big festivals in that category known as "things we'll do one day when the kids move out and we have some extra money" there are tons of little festivals to go to all summer. From Pagan Picnic to Pagan Pride Day, various midsummer gatherings all through June and harvest festivals just about every week from the first of August to the end of October. Well, it's no wonder I'm losing it.

It's time to gather what ladies I can and have a grounding ritual. We are not organized (yet). Our clergy are, for the most part, not trained to be counselors(yet). (I am told that Cherry Hill Seminary has a counseling program for Pagan clergy.) and so it is up to us to be our own clergy and our own counselors. There is no one to lean on. We have only ourselves and our Gods but that also makes us stronger. (If it doesn't kill us!)

PS Writing helps.

What does it mean to be selfish? It means that you focus on yourself and no one else. Society teaches us that being selfish is immoral and acts of selflessness are becoming more and more trendy. There are thousands, if not millions, of causes sponsored by giving individuals. We are taught that the more we give and the less we take the better people we are. however, just like anything else, moderation is the key.

There are, generally speaking, three types of givers. Those who genuinely give to others because they want to (thus the selfless becomes selfish), those who feel obligated to "do the right thing," and those who unhealthily give and give and give. other than the former, the reason for these unselfish selflessness is due to an ingrained, subconscious impression instilled by an environment of hypocritical bureaucrats.

Those who feel obligated and are obligated really are the same. And if anyone voices this obligations, he/she are fake, but people aren't born fake, quite the contrary, the "smarter" man feels he becomes the more he tries to remove himself from nature. the problem with this train of thought is that man is natural and being selfish comes naturally. Not only do we have a connection with ourselves that we have with no one else, but selfishness (once again, in moderation) is healthy.

I call this form of "selflessness" that we are taught processed selflessness. Processed selflessness is man's attempt at bettering itself through the man made or artificial, but, in fact, is no healthier than processed foods, or artificial sweeteners. Sugar, fats, and nature are not only healthy in excess, but crucial to our very existence. But it's no surprise that man neglects it's emotional needs just as much as their physical. We naturally need to cater to our own needs and some needs are occasionally wants. If a person never gets what he wants, then he begins to neglect himself mentally.

These who understand that it is alright to cater to their own needs before those of another tend to live much happier lives. This doesn't mean to never help anybody nor never compromise. It means that a person has less to give out when they don't bring in first. If people learned to be selfish when needed and to love themselves, then they would be very wise indeed. Through dedicating time and care to anything, a person promotes growth. The more we grow, the stronger we become and the stronger we become the stronger we can help others to become. I have things I do that involve only me. These things do not involve my wife or my son nor my parents or friends. I take time to myself so that I can emotionally be more supportive to those that mean the world to me. It doesn't have to be anything fantastic either. Take some alone time to meditate, go for a walk, work out, read a book, or any other numbers hobbies out there. You could even try something you've never done before and who cares if you succeed at it or not, because you're not doing it for anyone else.

After filling these needs, you will feel energized and then, can dedicate time to others' needs. Help others because you want to! Turning a selfless act into a selfish one becomes so much more fulfilling for all parties involved. You are a wonderful human being who deserves to, at the very least, love yourself. When you learn to love yourself then you learn to be able to truly other others, and not before. Learn to understand your needs (communication), respect your desires, and trust in yourself.

"I often joke, half sincerely and half seriously, saying that if we wish to be truly selfish then we should be wisely selfish rather than foolishly selfish."
- Dalai Lama XIV

It is hard to put Pagan values into a classification.
And I sooo cringe when I hear “Harm none do what you will”.

The way I see things is that there is a natural order to things. We all believe energy is there weather or not a person chooses to recognize it. We have tried to explain to many “muggles” that there is simply a natural order to the way the Universe works things. We pagans just tap into it on a more visual and conscious level, trying to kick out the unnatural roadblocks.
If our religious path is a way of flowing with the energy then why should values be any different? Values are, after all, no more than discovering the natural order of what works for us and those around us. The bottom line is there are things that are good and there are things that are bad. We do the best we can. None of us are a complete version of either good or bad. For the most part we are trying to dance with that universal order and finding where we fit.
And then there was grey. Should healings be done without asking the person being healed? Is getting tanked before and after ritual a good idea? Should it really be accepted that there is usually a “pagan” around that seems to use the word to see how much sex they can get? The list goes on. I can even tell you my point of view (no, no and yes) but it isn’t even what my values are that make a difference to anyone but me and those I love. In essence it isn’t even worth more than a grain or two to this concept that I have values that would be considered pagan to begin with.
Moral code is a way to connect with what is right. Pagans are trying to connect with what is ingrained into being human. There are just some things you don’t do (bad attracts bad) and some things you do (good attracts good) if you want to lead a happy, well adjusted life.
So what are those things? They really don’t need explanation. We all innately know them; it’s part of the human code. You shouldn’t let anger get the best of you. You should appreciate the beauty everywhere. You should help the ones you love and stand up for what is right. There are a few more but that is basically the end of the story.
Or is it? There are good people and bad people everywhere, even in the pagan community. I think that is where the true discussion over pagan values comes from. How do we cope when we smell bullshit? What do we do now that we are so disconnected from our neighbor? There should be a level of acceptance of the fact that there are jerks in every crowd but never an acceptance for what a “bad person” does that is wrong. If anything, pagan or not, we should do some more standing up for what is right and stop hiding behind the fact that we are all trying to better ourselves. Is bettering yourself hiding out from a confrontation when you know of an injustice? I don’t think so. I think it is just self-preservation. But where did we get this idea that to preserve our light we have to avoid calling someone out on what is dark? And the fact is that a person will hide the bad stuff they do. They know it’s wrong too. So I am not talking about stopping a rape, beating, injustice if you see it happening. It happens in private.
What do we do when we know there is someone we know of that did something really bad? We chose to either not hang out with them or avoid talking anywhere near their close circle about it. Ohhh that takes a bite out of them. How could they ever live with our snub or silence?
The behavior continues.
We continue to be ok with it because we do nothing to stop it happening again or help heal the victim. Why? Because we don’t know the victim that well or it isn’t our place. It’s gotten so bad that it’s become taboo for people who have been wronged to even talk about that wrong to anyone except a close, secret circle.
Most of us are doing pretty good at doing the right thing. I have that confidence in the readers here. But what can we do to prevent the bad to come or heal from that which was??
And has anyone ever noticed that it is strongly human to do something? The more we preserve self in avoidance the more that part of nature tells us to reach out against something wrong. If the only wrong we are left exposing ourselves to is who picks whose nose then we’ll be overly critical.
Society says --
We should never, ever cry in public.
We should actually control every extreme emotion in public.
No PDA, no arguing with the SO.
We never even talk about politics at parties for crying out loud.
Keep everything a secret. Only let people in when you have to.
Donating time and money regularly is good but not necessary.
Is this pagan? This is normal? It seems it is. How very sad.
After the complaints are blogged what do you do to right that wrong??

Mr. Obama - Just a few questions please.

As everyone that knows me personally, knows I am a big fan of Obama. As a matter of fact, I recently and publicly (well myspace anyhow) declared the Obamas to be the hottest public couple in America. Sorry - Angelina and Brad eat your hearts out! This is the greatest place to be an Obama fan, the pagan community. I don’t know how many announcements I heard for circles on inauguration night. I don’t have to express here why I think our new pres is so great.
Alas, that’s not the total public view. Along with the inauguration circles there was plenty of talk about protection spells going out. I lit my candle. I think I am going to make a permanent place for more candles. I grieve to say I think they’ll be needed. They’ll be needed for all the power hungry, money snorting fools out there that are watching our new pres like hawks, or rather vultures. Those candles should be burning for a very dangerous reason – fundamentalists right to lifers.
Within a day of his presidency Obama was working his tail off. He was getting to know all those he was going to rub elbows with. He was politely seeing Bush and his Gestapo out the door. He also signed a paper or two. One of the already famed paper signing experiences he had dealt with funding in relation to places that also perform abortion.
The Freedom of Choice act is the new Right to Life hot topic. If you Google Obama and abortion, the Freedom of Choice Act has plenty of reading material. This act "declares that it is the policy of the United States that every woman has the fundamental right to choose to bear a child; terminate a pregnancy prior to fetal viability; or terminate a pregnancy after viability when necessary to protect her life or her health." That’s according to Wiki. Sounds reasonable to me. I’m pro life – Pro that a woman has a right to do what she feels she needs to with her life.
Obama was already told that Jesus wouldn’t vote for him. He is just to free on his views of Freedom – Like the view that people should have it uncontrolled by slanted, narrow church views. I know the pres is pissing off right to life junkies. I am scared he’s going to piss off some real assholes his term. (Maybe I shoulda said jerks?)
I was still shocked when I received a very strange phone call the other day. “Hi – this is a recorded voice calling you to make sure I tell you my point of view. Before we start I want to make sure you know that everything I tell you is true. I would not have gone through the trouble of recording my voice to have some yahoos call as many people as they can if it were not true. Not only is it true but also you need to agree with me by the end of this message. Period.” Ok so I admit that’s not exactly how it started, but that’s what it translated to anyhow, roughly, sorta, kinda. What that little recorded voice DID state was a series of questions. Did I know? Did I know that Obama is right to life? (duhh, it was a winning point.) Did I know? I listened somewhat distractedly I am sorry to say. However, I am not sure why I didn’t hang up as soon as I knew it was the friendly robo-man. So at least I listened. As disgusted as I was with what I heard later I think robo-man was right about one thing – we need to listen.
We need to know what these trippy right to life people have to say. Because they are NOT saying things like – Since we are right to life we are going to open a right to life kids care and all abused and neglected children who are taken from their families will live here happily ever after. No – we have run down foster care systems and stressed adoption agencies. I think that every right to lifer that stands up and says “That woman should NOT have an abortion!” Should also be prepared to say, “If that baby is born to this world I will take the child as my own!” Every single one of them should have this sentiment. We need to know what they say because they are angry. They are angry enough to distort the truth into a huge pack of lies with one hope – to get everyone they can as pissed off about the things they are pissed about.
Did you know that Obama is working to ensure that every current restriction is erased from abortion? This means that anyone anywhere can perform an abortion regardless of medical qualifications. This means that sanitary conditions will no longer be a consideration. Anyone anywhere can perform abortions at any time and it will be legal, more than that encouraged. Is anyone getting these calls from robo-man actually believing this shit? I’m sure they are. To go so far as to state that Obama wants to ensure that a woman can abort a child anywhere, from anyone is ridiculous. To be honest any one anywhere can perform an abortion and likely not get persecuted. The statements made were to be used as an insinuation that Obama cared nothing for human life. That he encourages the mass death of innocent life. The thought is taken further in that the innocent life will be destroyed under circumstances that even the most extreme pro-abortionists must find reprehensible. It is an old, unstable stepping stool to say the least. It is taken a step further here because Obama is popular and they have to take their extreme to the next level.
Did you know?
Click. I couldn’t take it any more. I hung up before I got more of an education.
I only hope that mainstream America also chooses logic
I have a couple of questions.
Did you know it is impossible for Obama to pass anything to completely take all restrictions from abortion, even if he wanted to? Did you know it is just fine to be pro-choice and not feel you’re going to go to hell?