I hope you will join me for a one-of-a-kind edition of Living Reciprocity; the Pagan Values Special.

What you are about to read is unlike anything I have ever written. As many of you know, Pax put the thought into the air; a month where pagan bloggers wrote about values. The writers here at witchmoot embraced the idea, and we have written some very good posts on the subject.

I knew that given the theme of the month, I wanted to write something very different for this months Living Reciprocity, but I didn’t know what.

I have been doing a lot of thinking over the last few months about community, and ethics, and how we as pagans interact with each other. I have definite beliefs about where we are going, and where we need to go as a community. I see parallels in other sub-groups that have walked these paths before us. But how could I be sure that what I was feeling and what I was sensing were really valid? What if in the diversity of the pagan community, everyone was fine with how things were? Could I really be off base?

The answer was simple. Living Reciprocity is not just about me, it is about the people who are out there doing things. What would they think is the most important ethical issue facing the pagan community? There was only one way to find out, so, I sent out a question, and waited for replies. I hoped that by reading the answers of others, I might be able to answer the question myself. The question, you may be asking?

What is the greatest ethical question or problem facing the pagan community today?

One of the very first replies I received was from the always warm Janet Fararr and Gavin Bone.

This has to be its movement into the mainstream! Many pagans simply don’t want this to happen - they feel it will ‘water down’ the belief structure and commercialize it. But, on the other hand, many pagans realize that this movement is necessary for acceptance from other religious groupings if we are going to avoid discrimination.

The whole issue brings up other ethical concerns as well, charging for teaching, making a living from paganism, acceptance of newer traditions etc. with out the watering down as mentioned.

It seemed to me that perhaps I was on the right track. The things Janet and Gavin mentioned were indeed a large part of what I was seeing as I looked about. Mainstreaming is a very good term for a whole host of issues. It really boils down to how well we stand together as we face the world at large. But is this the whole of the issue?

Bill “Strings” Hilton also gave a very thoughtful answer. Strings is the President of the Maritime WI BACA a very good organization for everyone to check out.

I can see a whole bunch of “ethical questions” that need to be addressed. Not only by the pagan community, but by society in general. But pick one? Hmmm…

This is going to sound odd, but I think the biggest “ethical question” would be how to address our differences, both within the pagan community, and between ourselves and the “mainstream". And it IS a thorny problem. I’ll take those as separate issues.

Relations between the pagan community and the mainstream have been strained many times. On the mainstream side, many Christians feel the need to proselytize to “the heathens". This creates ill-will, which can be exacerbated by irritated pagans lashing back at them: I’m sure you’ve seen the folks that would be easier described as “anti Christian” than “pro Wiccan": their lives seem composed of attempts to belittle Christians and their beliefs, baiting them into debates with no purpose but to try and humiliate them. We (as pagans, represented by these folks) come across as trouble makers, not as followers of a different path. This is enhanced by the number of people who use Wicca as a way to rebel against their parents during their teen years. I can expand on this concept more, if you’d like…

The challenge within the community itself is slightly different, and even more alarming. The “witchier than thou” thing can NOT be overstated: far to many people on the pagan path feel that THEY are “true Wiccans", while everyone else is “just a poseur". This creates strife within the community, straining bonds between people with wide-ranging beliefs. Add in the ease with which a pagan path and be co-opted by a cult (of which there are a few), and the divisions with the community can become deadly to all involved. All it takes is one or two “bad apples", and all of us are tainted in the eyes of our parent society.

We need, as a community, to learn to be accepting of other beliefs and viewpoints. I know, many say they are: but go into most pagan groups and try talking about the benefits of hunting, or a prolife stance regarding abortion. Show yourself as having beliefs different from the group, and you see the fangs barred rather quickly. So much for “tolerence", huh?

It’s a many-faceted problem, and one with no easy answers. Maybe learning to be truly “tolerant” would be a good first step…

I thought to myself that I saw a theme indeed forming. Here are some very diverse people all speaking about mainstreaming. Strings raised some excellent points about our image and how we project ourselves both within and without the community, points very similar in some ways to ones Janet and Gavin raised.

Feeling buoyed by the answers I was getting I thought I must be on t something. But I was temporarily confounded by the answer I received from a Facebook request I had randomly sent out to Ellen Bergstrom.

Sexism and meanness of Patriarchy. Too many Pagans are unaware of/or chose to ignore Goddess as the original Pagan religions as well as the initial matriarchy the once existed. So many also are unaware that Patriarachy is not the opposite of matriarchy. They are two different things.

We all need to do our homework on various things but this is a must know. And I am not interested in communing with people who identify themselves as pagans who chose to be sexist, mean, mealy mouthed, etc.

Ah, the Goddess moves in mysterious ways, but they are not ever without reason. The terms Ellen used confounded me briefly. And then I realized, that my conclusion was still, the same. Ellen’s concerns were differently expressed, but at the core they seemed to me to be very similar to what Strings answered. It was about tolerance. So then, I had to wonder, was I wrong after all? Was the grand and unifying answer tolerance, not mainstreaming? More answers were needed.

Luckily for me, more were coming, namely from Tommy-Elf, the host of one of my favorite podcasts From the Edge of the Circle.

This is a tough question to tackle. The supposition here is that a particular choice will be widely accepted as an “issue” of an ethical nature within the Pagan community as a whole. The problem with this is that the Pagan communities – smaller, regional groupings as well as even smaller communities within city and belief systems boundaries – may not view these same questions/problems as being anything to provide substantial concern. Priorities can be different amongst those groups, as well as social differences, which can drive the differences in what would be the greatest ethical question or priority facing the community at-large.

With that bit of a disclaimer out of the way, I would consider acceptance of other Paths to be the largest ethical issue facing the community at-large. Pagans discuss the need for acceptance in pain-staking detail, but then provide the same level (or sometimes greater) of discriminatory and exclusionary practice towards their own fellow Pagans. I cannot even begin to count the numerous times I have heard that one particular individual is not a “real” Pagan because their understanding of the concepts of Paganism are too “fluffy” or “white-light” to be considered “serious” Paganism. An interesting quandary arises there, as there are similar notations made against Pagans by individuals on a Christian path. The Pagan religion lacks a standard aspect of “authority” such as the Christians have with the Bible as written in the Old and New Testaments or as the Catholic faith has in their Papal authority. Pagans constantly rail against this concept, pointing out that the Pagan faith is a non-central position of religious faith, with no central figure of authority – and decry this as a position of strength. The degree of hypocrisy that this position applies when the “fluffy” aspects of the Pagan faith are sneered at and dismissed out of hand is quite telling.

As I noted previously, there will be various smaller communities that will take exception with what I am stating – providing ample evidence that their particular community does not tolerate or practice this kind of exclusionary measure. I am also quite sure that no matter the type of question or issue that is presented, there will be groups/communities that will provide the same position of exception for their position. Therefore, it would seem to me, that the question of what is the “greatest” could be up for open debate, no matter what the presented particular states.

Once again the theme comes forth. Tolerance. Acceptance. Could this be the answer I was seeking for my own? But then another answer came that pushed me even further. I knew the chances of hearing back from her were small, her office help told me so. She is on the road a lot, teaching for extended periods with limited internet access. So imagine my surprise when I opened my email and found a wonderful answer from Starhawk.

The greatest ethical problem at the moment, I think, for those of us who believe the earth is sacred is how to respond to climate change, to the immense potential loss of life and biodiversity it represents, to the personal and social challenges it poses. How do we both live with personal integrity and also help to galvanize a more effective public response? How do we make people aware of the urgency without plunging them into cynicism and despair? What sacrifices are we truly called to make, and how do we
formulate a truly pagan response, that avoids falling into quasi-Christian moralism, that lets us continue to value pleasure, joy and beauty, that seeks to create abundance, regeneration and healing?

Starhawk had sent me a very powerful note about the environment, and more so about what we as pagans might do in response to environmental needs. It talks about what we can do, and what sacrifices we can make. Once again my thoughts changed. Perhaps mainstreaming and tolerance were just aspects of a larger ethical call; coming together, and making sacrifices to protect the larger world and the Gaia? Should we be focusing on strengthening the community, mainstreaming and building tolerance so we could be a larger force for action?

Famed pagan academic Judy Harrow seemed to align with this thought stream.

I’m a bit leery of picking out the single greatest ethical issue before us. I think different issues become salient for different people depending on their own inclinations and situations – and that a Pagan perspective (or the perspective of any other religion) would be applicable to any of them.

For me, personally, it would be the challenge of living “green” in the City. Other people may feel more called to address other issues.

So if I had to reduce it to one question, it would be very generic. It would be “how do I live my everyday life in congruence with my values and beliefs?”

While Judy’s reply had an environmental theme to it as well, it too seemed to want us to focus on what we could do. How we lived our lives and the choices we made. How do we live what we believe? That statement alone is a very powerful one. Could that be the overarching theme I was seeking?

World renowned author Storm Constantine sent a reply which took this thought further.

My first reaction to it was that I don’t think Pagans are facing problems of an ethical nature any different from any other member of human society. We are all just humans facing the same mess that our world has become.

When I thought about it more, I considered that - and this is not so much an ethical matter but one of belief - many Pagans got into their various alternative belief systems in the 80s and 90s, and there was a strong conviction then that the world *could* be changed for the better, with a meld of New Age, Buddhist and Pagan views on compassion, tolerance, positive thinking, magic and respect for the planet. I do wonder now how many of those initiates feel jaded and hopeless in the face of what appears to be increasing estrangement from a possible hopeful future for the earth and humanity. Do Pagans still believe things can change positively, or do they have to accept that the majority of humans are fast asleep, unaware, lacking any sense of self-responsibility, and do not even *want* to acquire qualities to the contrary, and that beneficial change is therefore very unlikely?

As far as actual ethics are concerned, I think that the greatest one among Pagans (now, and always has been), is how much should you act to create change when it impinges upon the will of another, when certain action is regarded as expedient. And what constitutes expedience? That could tie into the question of belief also.

There was the thought again. Belief. If we believe we need to live it. Living it means showing tolerance, and acceptance. We need to build the community. We need to mainstream so we can become a larger for for action both in our own lives and in the world at large.

There it was. I had one more reply to read, one more that I hoped would complete the thought. And in a serendipity that was beautiful to behold, I happened to email Emma Restall Orr just as she was preparing to give a talk on issues facing the pagan community in London. What would this groundbreaking author share with me? Her generosity amazed me, as she shared more than I could imagine.

To answer this question with respect to the whole Pagan community, the broad diversity of that community risks invalidating any answer. It would be easy to address the environmental crisis, for example, as a key issue relevant to Pagans, but some within the broad Pagan community do not consider environmentalism an inherent or relevant part of their religious practice. Equally, in an overpopulated society with families dispersed and neighbourhoods no longer cohesive communities, the ancestor worship and social responsibilities important to some Pagans are dismissed by others, happy - even proud - to consider themselves detached from mainstream society.

The single word answer, then, that I would offer in response to the question is: integration. Risking disagreement from some quarters, with some confidence I propose that the vast majority of Pagans hold a similar belief about the fundamental construction of nature. The semantics differ from the metaphysical to the poetic, with notions such as the woven fabric, the web of threads, the coherent field of vibrations, and so on, but the essence is the same. It is this weave of connectedness that lies as the basis of Pagan practices from animistic devotion to the efficacy of magick.

Yet the Pagan community still presents a significant gap between the understanding of this notion, and any expression that fully grasps the comprehensive implications of this belief. Personal decisions, clearly revealing where we place our care, from simple daily actions of how we spend our money, what we consume in terms of food, drink and drugs, through to life decisions about employment, travel, family and social responsibility, too often do not reflect those beliefs asserted. Until they do, Paganism and Pagans will not and do not deserve to be taken seriously.

Integration begins with the achievement of an internal consonance. This requires study of one’s own beliefs, assumptions, attitudes and expectations, in order to clarify and hone one’s thinking, uncovering prejudices, hypocrisies and unconsidered conditionings that limit our willingness to learn or act in accordance with our religious beliefs. If we understand nature to be a web of interconnecting threads, the self and soul are equally made up of threads that need to be held in the ease of perfect tension if we are to be sustainably sane, functional, creative, peaceful.

Only once we have found some of that clarity are we able to integrate our beliefs with our actions, making decisions and behaving in a way that is ethical. Able to justify our actions by explaining our ethics, where we fail to act ethically we are aware of having done so. This integrated behaviour includes the willingness to show one’s face, to stand tall in one’s own shoes and express those beliefs through respectful communication: my own tradition would speak of acting in a way that makes our ancestors proud. The misuse of drugs, sex and ego, were the sabotaging features of Paganism in its twentieth century revival; in twenty first century Pagan communities, the internet allows interaction that is faceless, and so too easily dishonourable.

Lastly, integration means no longer living on the edge of family and society, but becoming a responsible part of the societies within which we live. Many religions are populated by those seeking meaning, guidance, healing, and this is equally true of Paganism. However, while self-discovery and self-development have their place (as I have stated above), and many Pagans would deride altruism with a Nietzschian sneer, Pagans and Paganism must learn to serve more than themselves.

Individualism and anarchic self-determinism is too much a part of Paganism: it is still too often expressed through a selfish lack of integration. Its heritage of protest and alienation may be something to be proud of, but only in that perhaps it nurtured and welcomed innovative thinkers and radicals who have at times provoked conventional society to reconsider its habits and complacencies. Where such a stand is not in accord with the fundamental tenet of nature’s integration, what results is a disintegrating ethics, and the kind of behaviour that does Paganism no good at all: political grandstanding and theatrical protest, robed in hypocrisy.

Secular society is, some would say, so entirely unsustainable that we are heading for annihilation. Whether that happens next Tuesday or in another two millennia, or indeed if human ingenuity does find a pathway through the crisis, we cannot know. It is no good simply to blame the rapacious nature of secular society. If Paganism is to develop and grow healthily, becoming a valuable component in society and its uncertain future, it must learn how to share the best of its values, those based on the core belief of nature’s inherent connectedness. The only way to do this is through improving our ability to integrate those beliefs into each and every action.

I think we all have to take a moment and appreciate the depth of that answer. I’m not sure I could ever say it better or in a more coherent way.

But that would not be fair would it? That would not be living in reciprocity myself. So to be fair, to honor all those that so generously answered me, I have to answer my own question. What is the greatest ethical question or problem facing the pagan community from my point of view?

The greatest ethical question facing the pagan community IS pagan ethics.

Ethics: The science of human duty; a particular system of principals and rules concerning duty, whether true or false; rules of practice in respect to a single class of human actions

Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary

Reading the replies I received, talking to the people I talk to, I sense that the pagan community is ready for a change, a change to a new level as a community and as individuals. To be taken more seriously, to find greater acceptance, and to take our role of prominence in the coming centuries. We are looking to become mature.

Paganism seems to be coming full circle, what started as small groups with definite rules and structures went to the opposite extreme, becoming groups of nihilistic individuals. Rebellious teens in a sense, willing to challenge and push all the boundaries just to see if we could, just to see what was there. But the challenges of finding ourselves, of finding our identities are moving into the past. We have new considerations now, new goals, and while there will always be new individuals joining, new individuals seeking their own way, I sense that all the pagans I talk to are willing to accept some sort of common framework in which we can all operate.

We seek a common set of ethics.

No matter what is before us, be it the “table manner” issues of how we act at rituals and festivals, the larger questions of how we deal with and extract sexual predators, or the very complex issues of why so many of our teachers and elders struggle financially while people still spend generously on themselves, these are all ethical questions.

While some may fear this coming, fearing that standards might create judgementalism, I say there is a vast difference between judgementalism and using good judgment. It is past time that we stop the constant rebellion, and step into a new role of leadership.

Ethics demands that we take a constant inventory of ourselves, to examine our standards to see that they are reasonable and well rounded. It is the attempt to set a code of conduct for ourselves and to make sure that we are living up to those standards though our actions. And I say to you my fellow pagans that it is our community’s shadow self. We are in denial of vast aspects of our own power because we fear what it might take. We fear the will to stand up to abuse. We fear that we might be called to sacrifice some of our resources to care for others in the community, because of the responsibility it brings. We fear we might have to justify our actions to others.

But I sense as well we are ready. That there is a movement out there, an unspoken in some cases, passion to confront this shadow, to accept our power, and to step into this new phase of life as a community. Thus I say my answer again. The greatest ethical question or problem facing the pagan community IS ethics. The solutions, the options will have to come for all of us. Are you taking part in the conversation? Are you ready to help confront this shadow?

Well, that’s about it for this issue. I hope you like it, and find it useful. Please share this link with others, and pass it around. And come back and check, I’m hoping for some lively comments, and if I get late replies I am hoping to either add them to the article, or I will post them in the comments section.

Blatant and Shameless

While you are here at Witchmoot, make sure to sign up for an email subscription, so you will be the first to see new articles as they are posted.

And take a visit to my wife Spider’s ebay store at SpiderCreationsOnline.com, and find her profile on PaganSpace.

I Can’t Do It Without You!

Living Reciprocity won’t work without your help! Send me people to talk about. Send me businesses information to promote. This is a community building exercise and you are needed!

Please contact me using the comment link above, visit my MySpace page, or PaganSpace.

“Your people eat each other...no loyalty, no unity”

The quote above actually comes from a “spirited” online debate about the recent California Prop 8 court decision, and the rest of the quote I could not use due to all the expletives. But in several days of debating about the first topic I would write about for this month of focusing on Pagan Ethics, the quote above immediately struck home.

Your people eat each other.

Back in “the day” I used to hang out a lot in the AOL chat rooms, specifically the Ask A Witch room. While even then I didn't consider myself an expert, I used to spend so much time there because in part I felt that I had to. There were movies like The Craft, and paganism and witchcraft were experiencing a surge in popularity. As a result there were a lot of new people, people who had just started, and were still finding their way. Naturally they thought a room called Ask A Witch would be a great place to ask questions. By and large they were sorely mistaken. They had no way of knowing that the same questions were asked quite frequently. They had no basis to compare one author to another, and they certainly didn't know what a “fluff-bunny” was.

But more often than not what these new seekers found was ridicule, scorn and out and out anger. I tried to answer as best as I could, but often I was a voice in a storm. I would like to think that it was isolated to AOL, or the internet, or just to a few individuals. But often I am afraid this is not the case. If you have been in the community for any length of time, you will have seen it by now; the attacks on new people, the attacks on authors, the attacks on organizers, and lets not forget those fabulous “witch wars” we sometimes get when individuals decide to have their own personal battle. Is behavior like that a symptom of the pagan community, or is an aspect of some of the individuals in the community? If we are going to look at pagan ethics at all, I think we have to look at the dark side, and we have to look at our propensity to “eat each other.”

Paganism is filled with individualists. Don't agree with me? Take a quick look around and count all the Wolves and Dragons. For that matter also consider all the Dark and Shadows. Things that stand outside. Images that project being not of the normal. Now there are exceptions of course (I have the great pleasure of knowing a couple personally) but sometimes our most popular names form a community mythos. We are the outsiders, we are the loners, even to the point that we tend to think of ourselves as unique in a subculture that is geared towards unique individuals. But is this always a good idea?

I have often wondered how many of our attacks on each other is our own desire to stay unique. As the saying goes 'you are unique, just like everyone else.' It takes a certain type of person to find the pagan paths. You have to be willing to step out of the box of convention, and forge your own way. Certainly both our subculture and the culture at large values that sort of individual. We celebrate it, write songs and stories and of course movies about it. We all want to be Clint Eastwood, the Pale Rider sweeping into town, and asserting ourselves with blazing guns. The infamous gunfighter at his best.

In the pagan sphere, we fight our battles a bit differently. We use words, gestures, rumors, outlandish positions, strange garb and sometimes even magic to fight our battles. But the intent is the same, to be the victor standing on the field of battle, the bodies of our enemies before us, at least in a social context. We have rewarded numerous speakers, authors and personalities not by the value of what they really teach but often by how they say it. And then we follow their examples ourselves, staking our own territory, and our own claims, drawing the lines of our own battles. Yet ultimately who benefits?

Trying to make your own way in the world, and indeed to leave your mark on the pagan community is an honorable enough thing on its own right. Perhaps my analogy is wrong. Perhaps it is not the Pale Rider most want to be, but Strider. Strider, the loner, the outcast, seasoned in battle, comes to be the ruler of men, the king, the healer. This image might explain a lot about the motives of people. Who doesn't want to be the king, adored by people, feared by enemies, masters of all we survey? It would certainly explain why there is so much duplication of effort in the pagan community.

When I decided it was time to add my voice to the community, when I felt I had something to offer, and that I wanted to start writing Living Reciprocity, I had some options. The most obvious was to buy a domain, and install software like WordPress. It's cheap, it's easy, really it would take at most an hour, and I would have been up and running. But that is not the route I chose. I followed up on a call for writers on an existing site, Witchmoot, because one of the biggest things we do to eat our own, to destroy the efforts of others, is the duplication of effort.

Whether it is a blog site, a yahoo group, a web page, a gathering, a meetup, a ritual or something so large as a school or seminary site, there are rampant examples of duplication of effort. Now there could be many reasons for this from lack of awareness of what another group or individual is doing all the way to laziness. Put another way, it's the lack of willingness to fix or work on a project that you do not “own” even if it shares your goals and needs some effort put in to make it work. It is my belief that what we really seeing nine times out of ten is the Strider syndrome at work. I can do it better, I can do it with more authority, and better yet I will be the one getting all the glory. The lone wolf become king.

Rethinking Leadership

I can understand wanting to be recognized for your efforts. We all need those positive affirmations, that's a large part of why I started writing Living Reciprocity, to recognize those unsung heroes among us. It is human to want to feel important and needed. But there are times when you have to ask; what do I want to be recognized for? Real leadership demands that sometimes we understand that the best way to lead is to follow others on a quest for a larger goal. In the context of the example I used above, let's call this the leadership of Samwise Gamgee.

In the Lord of the Rings series, Sam was loyal, and steadfast. When you start the novels you may fall into the belief that he is just a follower, a drone blind to the service of his employer. But I think that we can all recognize as the story progresses, that Sam is showing true strength by supporting the huge goals of others. He is just as strong in character as Strider, and perhaps moreso than Frodo, and that Frodo would have utterly failed without him. What makes this leadership instead of “just” loyalty is that Sam does have strong leadership qualities in him. When Frodo is not thinking clearly, Sam uses multiple means of motivation to keep the quest alive. Sam is there because of his choice, not just because of Gandalf.

How does this fit into the pagan context? Simply put we must examine in ourselves the methods we use to express our desire for recognition, or to “be a leader” Being a leader does not always mean you are presenting the workshop, or leading the ritual. More often than not true leadership is expressed by masking sure there are enough chairs, by making sure the person hovering around the edges feels welcome, and by making sure you bring a dish to pass that the vegetarians will enjoy.

Outside a circle context, it might mean making sure a project does not overlap that of another, which takes away from both projects. It might mean that you take the time to recognize the efforts of another and thank them. It certainly means that you keep in contact with other pagans for the other days of the month besides rituals, or making sure someone without a car gets a ride they need. There are tons of examples, and I am sure you can think of more that you may be doing already.

You are not failing to be a leader when you follow the lead of others, you are actually building your leadership credentials. You can be a leader, and be an individual without working against the larger fabric of the community. And just as Sam became the Mayor of the Shire, your efforts too will be recognized as time progresses. Just be aware, just as you may have had to learn not to “eat your own” leaders, your efforts will also be attacked by others. Perhaps learning not to destroy other leaders in your efforts to lead yourself is the best example you could offer, and will make it easier on you to be a leader.

You will also be building a pagan community that is larger than any individual, and will grow stronger and most secure for the future generations that will come both by blood and by choice. By blunting one edge of the double edged sword of pagan leadership, this growth can be your legacy as well. Which seems more than rewarding to me.